shaken

my mum was telling me about how cold oxford was. evidently she's worried about my injury and my well-being should i be able to make it there. in fact, i think she's pretty certain that i will get in, which to me is like, seriously nah-nah. she told me that my aunt is afraid that i'll bring a "lao wai" home.

if my mum doesn't know how tough and competitive entry into oxford is, my dad sure does. in fact, when my mum was telling me how wollen trenchcoats were necessary, he simply said, "don't worry, she wouldn't get in." you know, if you put a leftist and a rightist next to each other and they argue till the cows come home you don't necessarily get a centreist. in fact i'd venture as far to say that you DON'T. what makes me disappointed is that it's financial matters that my dad is fretting over, and not so much anything else. it is almost as if he's giving me 10 pounds so that i can satisfy myself, that i'm not good enough to go to oxford. he views it as a worthwhile investment, 10 pounds lost vs 50,000 pounds to pay for an education there. even with a scholarship he seems certain that he will have to fork out money. nothing i say convinces him otherwise.

i want to go to oriel. previously, i was apprehensive about going to oxford, i wasn't sure country life was for me. london and lse seemed more "me", somehow. but after reading up on oriel, i realise that is the environment i want to be in. it's sporty, it's fun, and it still manages to bring in the grades too. it's like cruel reality. and in itself it's not an easy college to get into. it's like xue shang jia shaung.

oxford is like a dream, my dream, only i hope this time, it comes true.