arghhhhh

when my tutors return me my essays i generally do not want to look at the comments. this is especially so for my philosophy essays, since by now i am fully convinced that i will never be able to understand what any philospher is talking about. this is interesting and slightly awkward for me, to say the least, since i have to submit essays every week on topics that are effier and effier. i also think i've gotten to a point where i can't quite care about the essay anymore? for example, for my very first philosophy essay, i was playing bridge at the same time as writing my essay (yes i get demoralized rather quickly).

well i got the essay back, and refused to look at the comments until now, when i have to submit my third essay.

i realised, with much much much horror, that i submitted my uncompleted first essay to my tutor.

considering the crap that was in it (the last 1/4 was the saving grace, i swear)i am surprised he decides to continue teaching me at all!

i shall go to bed now and not think about it.

damn.