20070601

i am so old!

was reading my cousin's blog and she (all of her thirteen rather tender years) mentioned that she was feeling very emo because she was reading a lot of emo posts. well to me emo = brit punk with tongue piercings and spiky pink hair = a trifle scary = avoid. naturally i was a little alarmed, and then it took some time (a good minute) to figure out that she meant emotional. of course. i am so old that abbreviations don't make sense to me anymore.

worse, i am so technologically unsavvy it isn't even funny. she had music on her blog! i can't even change my blog template and do all the cool things she does with her blog! i suppose i can be an old foggy and just let my blog be a diary instead of an expression of my individuality.

and then i find myself looking for work clothes because i will be working in another year, or at the very latest in two years time. oh man. designers really need to work on the range (pun unintended) - plain white shirts and black skirts is just too boring, fishtails or otherwise, and i don't want to wear a jacket in hot hot hot singapore! the worse thing for me, thinking back to my internship days, is how little i will get to wear jeans at all. for the record, i have an embarrassing number of jeans. about 8, maybe in uk, and another 8 or so in singapore. it doesn't help that i bought another 2 pairs this year, and another 2 pairs of trousers. (i probably have, like, 10 pairs of trousers?) it's this thing about needing skinny jeans. then seeing some cheap ones from gap and ralph lauren, then thinking about how i don't have a pair of jeans in gray, or cord, or cream, and how i really should get one. makes dressing up easier you see. thankfully now all i lack is a pair of cream jeans. then i am well and truly stocked. (i don't go for coloured jeans generally, so this means i have jeans in many shades of blue.) shocking i know, especially since i won't be able to wear them once i start working!

oh and i know i am old when i remember that i haven't been to a club in ages (middle of last term?), and realize that if i do i probably will take a few days to recover from the ringing sound in my ears, the sore feet and the dehydration. however i am adamant that i will go at some point, hopefully before this term ends, or at least back in singapore (st james powerstation? i still really want to go to mos in london though) i am starting to find heavy metal like the darkness annoying which is not good for clubbing life methinks.

and this body simply cannot keep late nights anymore. i used to be able to sleep at 3am and get up at 6am for school, but now if i sleep at 4am i get up at 1230pm, in time for lunch if i rush. and now at 6ishpm i am feeling sleepy again. plus, i didn't run for 5 days and my running deproved tremendously. i actually felt tired, no correction, like my legs are going to drop off, even though i decreased the speed by quite a bit towards the end of my run. plus, two days after the run and my legs are still aching. this is some lengthy healing that i really don't need. oh, and to top it off i have taken to popping glucosamine to keep them joints in good running shape, sigh, i am touching 21 and i am taking something that my grandma takes to keep her knees walkable.

and what's the coup de grace? complaining about growing old. this, if anything, has to be the trademark of an aging woman.

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