reaquaintance

i have been through a lot these past few days. very exhausted. like now, when i am looking through sleep-deprived puffy eyes.

and i feel like blogging, to talk things out. but it is hard and painful.

and i know escapism is harmful, but i just want to blot it all out. never knew i could think of drinking with as much desire as i do now. alas have work so can't actually drink.

even work is hard. reading the same paragraph over and over and over again. i shouldn't whine. i have the solution ready, i just am unwilling to implement it. it is called ignore. oh fine art.

i want to sleep well every night again, and i don't want to have to be forced to go through this because of another's stupidity. i feel it unfair. what to do, blame my taste and choice again i guess. my lack of foresight and my complacency.

i wish i didn't know, but this is really just words of anger and frustration. i know deep down i would hate it even more if i didn't know. i need time, i need space, and most of all, i need to actually be able to make a choice. how hard can that be?