cringeworthy photos

i know, i know, i am hardly a candidate to be bitching about photos, especially since the ones i take are particularly poor, and i look horrible in photos (worse than usual, if that was a possibility).

but today i saw a really cringeworthy photo on facebook. it was so cringeworthy, i actually gagged involuntarily. i am a huge fan of smiling on the camera - a sweet, serene smile (pun unintended, though serene has a beautiful smile), or even a wide cheeky grin - but not acting cute. at this point jerald will say, but they learn from the master! well, i don't act cute in photos, and this photo was neither here nor there. it was an attempt to act cute and cool at the same time.

i have to stop bitching one day. especially when i see how unflattering my own photos can be. there's one of me smirking, oh horror of all horrors, and i have double chins in many photos. so i ought to be more forgiving. but, as i will keep protesting, and bitching, because i'm in that mood today, at least i wasn't trying to act cute. or cool. or both.

btw belle de jour's blog is actually very interesting.

不一样的我

自从中学毕业后，我似乎忘了自己的文化背景。

其实， 我应该骄傲，我知道我所拥有的，很多人也一样期望。可是，我还不满足。这么多年忘了自己是谁- 英语是我的第一语言，不过华语也是呀！

我是个华人。这是我避不开的事实。我也不想这样，每当用华语时总是吞吞吐吐，结结巴巴的。虽然我还非常喜欢听华语歌曲，不过我有时候已经不能了解歌词了。的确很失败。


我一直在想，如果走了不同的路，会是怎么样呢？如果真到中国进修，华语一定不会如此糟蹋。我很想出外公干，特别是去中国。不过，男朋友一定不肯。他总说，我不是“chinese”，对啊，我也没说你是，你是华人，不是中国人。你看，英文能分辨吗？我有时觉得与他的相差多过共同点。就像现在，我相信他应该不会了解我在说什么。

现在爱听这首歌-特别是歌词:

林俊杰-不懂

这爱情路究竟 带我们到什么地方
是要持续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我
的确是有一点疲倦

somebody save me....

So, I am in desperate need of some help. I never thought it'd come to this, but I was actually excited surfing the Treasury's website, looking at the range of reports available for me to devour, gleefully absorbing very geeky fun facts like the UK household debt being 109% that of GDP - even higher than that for the US, at 100%.

The point when I realised I truly had a problem was when I caught myself thinking "Gosh this is how you will be spending your Sundays in future, 10 years down the road, poring through the Singapore government's website, wondering what on earth the government's doing." And then worrying about where to find such information, and if they had reports as nice as the ones the Treasury had.

I think the million dollar question is if I will become an economist once I've gone through my six years with IE. And I think the answer is, should I become one, the economy of Singapore will be in very, very poor shape indeed. So pray that my interest in economics extends only to whether I think the economy will go into a recession soon, and hedging my bets on the stock market (which of course as we all know exhibit irrational behaviour, etc etc. And of course, it's often not predicting a change that's very difficult, it's predicting the extent of it - and therefore the extent of your gains and losses.)

Lastly, I've got offers from LSE and King's, both of which I am incredibly pleased with. I have my tutors to thank for what must have been brilliant referrals - I was quite adamant I wouldn't have gotten any offers at all with my appalling Prelims grades. Now it's off to try to get the elusive first.

Oh speaking of Finals I've got something quite funny to add. My politics tutor was trying to expose the sham that was Finals, in a bid to get us to understand that, really, it made no difference to your life whatsoever. (However, cue counterexample, i.e. me). And in any case this was the key take-away: Finals are a sham, and scribble (because the examiner might think he's read something that you haven't intended - giving you the benefit of the doubt).

Nice.

oh the things i never thought i'd do

Well it's Super Tuesday II, so this means round 2 of staying up till 4am - frantically refreshing pages and reading who won what.

Till now I am quite amazed by how the Democrat presidential nominations have captivated me. I am truly and seriously interested in policies that will not have a direct impact on me. perhaps it's the final coming of age, when I realise that I can now vote. Of course whether or not I get to is an entirely different issue, but I have the potential, slight as it is, to make a difference.

Reading these reports have really given me an insight as to media bias. Clearly there are pro-Obama and pro-Clinton papers. Some herald a (I am still hurting) big win for Clinton in Ohio. Well, considering the fact that Ohio was hers to lose, and I would go as far as to call it Clinton county, I am not sure if her win is that unexpected, though I certainly grant that it breaks Obama's winning streak thus far. I don't know. I don't like the re-jigging of goal posts. Not too long back Bill Clinton said that she needed to win both Texas and Ohio for her nomination to be credible. Right now she seems happy with Ohio alone. Of course if she wins both she will herald her victory, and perhaps call it a change of momentum. I wonder.

In any case, ZK and I were talking about this today, and in particular in reference to Israel, or the lack of clarity with regards to the intentions of both candidates. I find the following link here very interesting. In particular, I am surprised to see a 1.5 and not 1 for issues regarding Obama's Muslim father, as well as the links to Muslims. For a panel of 8, this means that someone, well at least one person must have agreed to the statement that the fact that his father is Muslim is problematic. Which I honestly and sincerely think to be entirely irrelevant to his candidacy, ans speaks of a very narrow, extremely myopic view. To be fair though, this ranks the least of all their concerns, but I would have thought it would not have been a concern at all. What matters most, it seems, is Obama's lack of experience in the Middle East, which is fair enough.

I think the fact that he is willing to open negotiations is a step forward - even with Iran. I'd say, if not negotiations, then what else? The current impasse that dogs the Middle East? If the mere fact of opening up negotiations alone is seen as backing down, or a loss of face, then I think the prospects of some sort of compromise, or peace if you like, is extremely dim. As I hope the war in Iraq and Vietnam has amply shown, war may not always be the right solution, especially since it is not the only one.

Well, here's hoping Obama polls well in Texas and makes a comeback in Ohio. The latter is not impossible, even given Hillary's comfortable lead (about 16% I think), given that the densely populated cities have not returned their vote counts, and that their demographics favour Obama. We will see, eh?